Little Beau Peep

Mini-Me

I wanted to take a moment to bask in some nostalgia. I feel that it’s important for my readers to understand the little girl behind the woman I am today. Of course, my life is too complicated to condense into one post, so I plan on allowing the story of my life to unfold little by little. For starters, I wanted to introduce you to mini-me.

I was born near San Fran – yup I’m a Cali girl! With a beloved American Bulldog and some interesting choices in outfits (blame the 90s), my story began.

Fast-forward a few years and I found myself in a vastly different climate – the frigid Northeast.

Thru the attached-to-my-doll years to the dreaded emotional teenage years, New England witnessed it all.

I wasn’t the glamorous girl – the one that got all the likes or the one who got all the boys. I wasn’t the girl people thought was beautiful or smart. I was one of those girls that took a while to find her place. The girl who hated her reflection in the mirror and didn’t want to eat dinner because it was making her fat. I was the girl who regularly dieted starting at an age that people would find unbelievable. I didn’t have magazines in my face or ads for Victoria Secret to blame; the closest Wal-Mart was an hour away and the internet was dial-up. Instead, I had a voice in my head telling me I wasn’t good enough, and it manifested itself in the form of self-hate. That self-hate fueled my need to be better; better than myself, better than those around me, better than anyone I knew. It turned into a motivation to fix what I felt was wrong with me. It started out with superficial things – rigorous exercise routines and intense calorie counting. Then, it morphed into something much bigger, better. It became the push I needed to set myself apart from my peers.

I was homeschooled. I know what you’re thinking: us home-schooled kids are weird. We probably are. However, my school didn’t come with a teacher – I had books and taught myself. My routine and schedule were completely in my control; my diploma and future depended on it. I graduated at seventeen with a 3.21 GPA while spending my senior year working full-time.

Upon graduation, I made a few mistakes and wound up very depressed. I lost my focus and my drive; I fell on hard times financially and emotionally. Then, slowly that little voice, that had been suppressed by a negative force in my life, began to awaken and remind me that I was better than this.

Now, here I am. I’m going to college, working two jobs, starting a blog, starting a business, and maintaining a social life. What I have accomplished so far actually makes me proud. My journey, although already full of many events and milestones, is only just the beginning. That’s why I feel it is the best time to introduce myself to you.

Along this journey, you’ll get to read about my abusive relationship, my depression, and my financial setbacks. You’ll also get to read all about my adventures, funny stories, and ideas.

I’m here to remind every girl, regardless of where she’s at right now, that you can and will find your inner strength and power. That little voice in my head isn’t gone, it still haunts me at night, but setbacks are everything in learning who you are and where you’re headed. So, as hard as it is – embrace them.